Dial Seven Constellations for Redwall
by Yamishimo
Summary: Animal version of Stargate SG1 goes to the planet with Redwall on it.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate or Redwall; they are © New Line and Brian Jacques respectively.

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Dial Seven Constellations for Redwall 

Chapter 1

            Colonel Jack O'Neal was a strong but older otter, with steaks of gray in his dark fur. He was also standing in the gate room. The iris slid open and he looked at the familiar flash of blue shimmering light. He clutched his P-90 in his paw, the polymer grip feeling smooth and cool. _What's taking them so long?_ As soon he finished this thought, the rest of the team walked in.

            "Hey, what took you guys so long?" He asked. Major Carter, a blonde hare, walked up to him and threw a salute.

            "Sir, sorry we were late. Jackson lost his glasses, sir." She stated, standing at attention. He saluted back, and told her to relax. He looked over at Jackson, a bookish looking mouse. O'Neal felt sorry for that mouse, especially after what his team had done on the first mission through the Stargate. Jackson fumbled with the zippers on the Kevlar vest he was trying to squeeze into.

            "Is it just me, or are these vests really tight? I always have problems with the zipper." He said, pulling the closure at the end of the sentence. T'Ilk, a jackal with a gold medallion on his forehead, raised an eyebrow at the mouse's problem. 

            "You will find that the vest fits better if you put it on straight." The former Ja'fa said. 

            "Hey, everyone, get your weapons out of the lockers and get ready!" A voice called over the intercom. The team looked up and saw General Hammond, a large badger, looking down on them. "I say again, get your weapons and prepare to enter the gate." With that, everyone went to the lockers on the wall and retrieved their weapons. O'Neal knew that Hammond would do that so he had gotten his gun out early, but the others hadn't expected it. Carter opened the locker and drew a 

MP-5, with just about every Mil-spec option on it, it even had a small Go'uld weapon attached to the underside. Jackson withdrew twin Colt .45 automatics and a small case containing dark sunglasses, in his prescription, in case the planet they warped to was a desert. T'Ilk silently took the Ja'fa staff weapon out of its holder in the locker.

            "Alright SG-1, ready weapons." O'Neal said, and the team each put a cartridge into their firearms' chambers except for T'Ilk who opened the tip of the weapon. "Ok, time to go." He led the team into the shimmering sapphire portal, its watery looking ripples coming from the center. When they were all through the gate, it was closed, making the gate room dark again.       

            


	2. Chapter 2

Dial Seven Constellations for Redwall 

Chapter 2

_Excerpt from the diary of Oakflyer, Recorder of Redwall Abbey:_

Oh, it is great to be alive in the summer, especially at Redwall. It was declared the Summer of the Noisy Bee, because the bees in the hives have been so busy that it could wake Dibbuns inside this gatehouse! Thankfully the Cellarhog has quieted them down so we could get some sleep. Oh, I almost forgot, the squirrel archers are coming for the feast tonight! They say the leader is a descendent of Lady Amber from the war for Mossflower's independence. I've got to go help in the kitchens

_Oakflyer._

            "'Ey Oakflyer, when are ye goin' to get out of that dusty gatehouse, huh? The squirrels will be here soon, I thought you wanted to meet them!" An otter called from the doorway.

            "I'll be there in a second, Rockrudder!" Oakflyer yelled to the otter. "Just let me get these things put up. Stupid tail, it always twitches when I'm in a hurry."

            "Hey, how did you get in here? I didn't open the gate." Rockrudder yelled to a red squirrel that was wearing a beret and a tunic of brown barkcloth that had appeared next to him. "Wait, are these the famous archers of Mossflower? I know someone who'd like to meetcha." The squirrel winked and pulled a whistle out of the beret and blew. The sharp high note signaled and six squirrels dropped down to the abbey grounds. Each had a longbow across their shoulders' and a quiver of arrows with red and gray fletching on their belts. 

            "'Tis us indeed. I would be pleased to meet this beast." The first squirrel said. Oakflyer walked out of the gatehouse, his paws black with ink. He saw the archers and blushed a shade of red so bright that it could be seen under his gray fur.

            "Rockrudder! Why didn't you tell me that they were here? I could have washed the ink off in there if I had known!" She yelled at the otter.

            "Oh, you're a beautiful specimen of a squirrel, if you ask me. But I've had nothing to look at but these archers for many seasons." The one in the beret said. "My name is Robin, and what may I ask is your name?"

            "Uh, Rockrudder, what's my name?" She asked, apparently Robin had hit a bull's eye in here heart.

            "'Er name's Oakflyer. She has been waiting for you, if fact she's the beast who wants to meet you."

            "Er, eck." She answered. This made even Rockrudder perplexed, he knew more about that squirrel than even the Abbot, but he didn't know what 'eck' meant.

            "I'm sure she will be able to talk at the feast tonight." Robin said and walked off with his archers.         


	3. Chapter 3

Dial Seven Constellations for Redwall 

Chapter 3

            "Damn it! What do you mean we're stuck?" O'Neal screamed. The dialing device was smashed into small pieces. They were in a cavern of some sort. They all had a flare in paw for light.

            "Sir, I think we have bigger problems." Carter said, pulling the bolt on her MP5 back and letting the spring snap it back into place with a metallic click.

            "What? What could be worse?" O'Neal asked.

            "Thank you for being sso nice asss to ssstand there for my convenience." A hissing voice echoed from the tunnel ahead of them. Soon the head of an enormous adder loomed out of the darkness. "You will enjoy eternity after thisss kisss. Look at you fate and go to ssleep." All of the team except for Jackson looked at the snake's eyes; he was still fumbling with the vest's fasteners. He looked up and saw the snake sliding leisurely toward Carter. Without thinking he drew both pistols and fired two magazines into the snake, breaking the spell on the rest of the team. Soon all that was left of the adder was a pile of bones and bits of scales.

            "That was a close one, thanks Jackson." Carter said, still staring at the heap of organic matter that had been the snake, her paw was still holding the MP5 in a death grip. 

            "I know you would have done the same for me, wouldn't you?" He asked, his glasses sliding down his nose.

            "Uh, sure we would. Right T'Ilk!?" O'Neal said looking at the jackal holding the staff weapon. 

            "Yes." He said, raising an eyebrow.

            "We should try to find some kind of settlement, we can put a beacon near the gate so it will be easier to find." Carter said, her ears finally coming down after being up straight in the shooting. The team walked out of the cavern, and into a maze of tunnels. They came to a fork, one to the left, one to right.

            "Alright, let's see how our luck is." O'Neal said, producing a combat knife and flipping it into the air. It seemed to stay in the air for an eternity, but it finally hit the ground. It sunk it the soft sandstone! 

            "Dammit! Guess our luck isn't all that great. Any ideas?" He asked, pulling the knife out of the ground. Jackson seemed to be engrossed in some carvings on the wall.

            "Hey, I think I found a way out!" Jackson yelled triumphantly. Everyone else looked perplexed, except for T'Ilk, who just raised a questioning eyebrow. "Look, there are arrows carved into the rock, going towards the snake's lair." Everyone shuddered at the mention of it. O'Neal caught on first.

            "If we follow the opposite way the arrow is pointing, then we find a way out! Good job." The otter said, adjusting the sling on his P-90. They followed the arrows, and soon found the entrance/exit. When they got outside, Jackson squeaked in triumph again.

            "I knew we'd be on a planet with lots of sun, but you all said that we wouldn't need our sunglasses." He said, pulling out his sunglasses and showing that he would not be blinded like them. T'Ilk looked around and mentioned that it looked like a quarry. The team walked all around looking for a place to walk out of it. When they finally found one, there seemed to be a settlement of some type near a river. It turned out that it was a group of otters on a fishing trip.

            "'Ey, who's there? Speak up, or this stone's gonna find a new 'ome on your head." One big otter yelled as SG-1 approached. The team stepped out into plain view. All the otters came up to O'Neal and asked what he was doing traveling at his age. He explained that his team was traveling to a settlement so that they could get some supplies and make some repairs.

            "Wot kind o' repairs do ye need? We got the best boat fixers in all of Mossflower comin' soon." An otter with many scars on his face and shoulders. "If it's a boat, then the Guosim can fix it. Those shrews fixed me boat in less than a day!"   

            "Well, it's not exactly a boat. It's made of metal, hard metal!" O'Neal said to the other otter.

            "Then you'll be wantin' to go to Redwall Abbey. When the Guosim come, we'll all go with ye. I hear that a feast is going to be in full swing by noon in three days. By the way, I'm Luke. But just call me by my title, Skipper."

            "Alright Skipper. I assume that that singing coming from the Guosim." Jackson said, pointing down the river.

            "Aye, and Log-a-log looks like he'll want some food." An otter said, hefting a pot of river water over the fire.

            "Ahoy, Skip! Well, looks like me old friend found some new ones! Wot is he?" An older, rounder shrew said as he jumped to shore.

            "They're travelers in need of a smith, so at dawn I'll take em to Redwall. Pity you'll miss the feast, Log-a-log." Skipper said, slapping the shrew's shoulders.

            "Miss a Redwall feast? Are you kidding? I wouldn't miss one for anything, except a Badger-forged rapier!" Log-a-log said, scaring Jackson. This made the otters and shrews laugh.

            "So, what can you do to earn your supper?" Skipper asked, tears of mirth streaming down his face from seeing the mouse fall.  

            "We can out do your crews in weaponry, and if you don't believe me, watch this!" O'Neal said, pulling a quarter out of his pocket. He asked an otter to toss the coin at a tree. The otter looked at the O'Neal as he adjusted the strap on the 

P-90, but he slipped the coin into her sling and spun it experimentally. Then without warning, let it fly at the old tree. With a blaze of fire, deafening staccato, and ring of brass hitting the sand the coin hit the tree.

            "You made all that noise and you missed?" Asked a shrew. But O'Neal only walked to the tree and withdrew a jagged piece of metal. He placed in the paw of the shrew, who gasped. "You did hit it, a lot!" 

            "I told you. We have better weapons."

            "Apparently so!" Skipper said taking O'Neal's paw. The rest of the night was spent showing off weapons and eating.  


	4. Chapter 4

1 Dial Seven Constellations for Redwall  
  
Chapter 4  
  
"Alright, I said we'd move out at dawn, and it's dawn. Let's go shrews!" A voice said, waking the SG-1 team.  
  
"Wha? Where am I?" O'Neal asked, pulling himself up from the ground. Then he remembered the broken dialing device. Elsewhere, other members of the team were awakened by the call.  
  
"Hmm, interesting… What the? Oh, time to move out." Daniel Jackson said, scratching between his ears.  
  
"'Ey, you wont make it to Redwall if yore layin' about all mornin'!" A shrew yelled into Daniel's tent. "Crazy beasts. Sleep in strange tents, have odd weapons; I wanna know where they come from." It continued muttering as it walked off. Daniel got out of his sleeping bag and grabbed his stuff. The last thing he put on was his Kevlar vest.  
  
"Damn zipper! What's wrong with it? I hate this thing!" He said under his breath. He was still struggling with it when he stumbled out of his tent. He saw Major Carter walking to the breakfast fire. "Sam. You having a better morning?" He called to her.  
  
"Yes, but why do these shrews keep staring at me? The shrews on Earth seem to like hares better." She said, her eyes darting about. "Sir, a trust you had a good night." She said as O'Neil walked up.  
  
"It was good until I passed out, and I got a headache like you wouldn't believe." He said, then moaned and held his head. "Daniel, you got any aspirin? Mine's with my first-aid kit, at the base."  
  
"With all due respect, when you drink as much as you did last night, you tend to get a hangover." Daniel said, handing O'Neil the bottle of analgesic.  
  
"Don't lecture me about how alcohol affects the otter physiology. I know I got a hangover, but Skip and Log-a-log started a drinking game and I couldn't resist."  
  
"Congratulations O'Neil, you won the contest, but you passed out before we could give you your prize." Skipper said, winking at Log-a-log. "A flagon of seaweed grog!" They both said, presenting the small earthenware jug to O'Neil. He thanked them, saying he would save it for later. He slipped it into a pocket in his pants.  
  
"Well, we should be movin' soon. Are ye ready?" Log-a-log asked, adjusting his headband that had slid over his eyes.  
  
"We've got to take T'ilk out of his meditation, then everybeast will be ready."  
  
"I have already prepared." The tall dark furred creature said, walking to the group.  
  
"Then let's go, there's a feast at Redwall. I don't want to miss out on any o' those vittles." The old shrew chieftain yelled to everybeast.  
  
Short, I know, but it will get better. Stargate hasn't come on for two weeks and I lost my Muse for a while. 


	5. Chapter 5

1 Dial Seven Constellations for Redwall  
  
Chapter 5  
  
(Imagine this text as scrolling green text at the bottom of the scene)  
  
Woods East of Salamandastron  
  
Slightly noonish, wot wot.  
  
(End scrolling text)  
  
"Would ye look at that? Oh Whatsisclaw is back for another beating."  
  
"Shut up, we're Long Patrol Spies remember. I thought you were a stealth expert."  
  
"I jolly well am. I was merely stating that the blinkin' blackguard is headin' toward Salamandastron. Humph, imagine me blowin' our bally cover."  
  
"You're gonna if ye keep that up, Woodsorrel." A female hare said, shifting her longbow to the other shoulder. Her companion seemed to talk more when he was told not to, which was frequently. "We should report back to Salamandastron an' tell Lord Broadflash."  
  
"Alright, Sandy." Private Woodsorrel said, knowing his superior officer hated her shortened name.  
  
"How many times have I told you to call me by my rank: Captain Sandscut Fleetpaw!" She yelled and realized her mistake before the vermin surrounded them. "This is why you don't call your superior officer what she hates!" She hissed through clenched teeth.  
  
Warfang Jadeclaw was a creature that struck fear in the hearts of even the great Badger Lords of Salamandastron, and he had outlived four. His hoard feared him more than any other thing, including death. He smiled a fiendish smile that would have made the trees of Mossflower shrivel, as two Long Patrol hares were brought before him. He wore no jewelry, aside from a small gold glove that only covered the pad of his paw.  
  
"Ah, I see we have some visitors from the Fire Mountain. What will you tell us about this?" His voice was loud but hollow and deep, much like a growl. One of the hares seemed to be frightened, but the other spat in Warfang's face.  
  
"I will never tell anybeast as vile as you anything! Free my paws and I could beat you single pawed!" She yelled.  
  
This seemed to be humorous so Warfang.  
  
"Fool, I have outlived four of your mighty Badger Lords. You could not beat me with the whole of Salamandastron!" He raised the paw with the strange glove towards Woodsorrel, who was cowering to the side. At the same time he was lifted off the ground and started screaming in pain. "I see that this bothers you, I will stop if you tell me what I want to know. If not, I will continue until he dies in agony. Either way, I will be happy." Warfang said, a smirk forming on his features.  
  
Captain Sandscut Fleetpaw looked at the hare that just an hour ago had been annoying her, and know his life was in her paws. Her ears drooped, a sign of defeat. "Stop! I'll tell you what you want to know, just let him go."  
  
Ooh, what a cliffhanger. Review and I'll write more. 


End file.
